Sunset
by Sylvera
Summary: Roxas thinking about his life and the way things are, and having a short talk with Sora. One-shot, Roxas POV. Contains mild RoxasxNamine and hints of SoraxKairi. OLD FIC.


Sora steps out of his little rowboat, and onto the shore. From deep inside his heart, I watch as he walks along the shore of the little island, looking for the perfect place to watch the sunset.

It's only been about a month since he got home, and he's pretty much been enjoying the normalcy of it. He doesn't talk to me much – he only figured out how a few days after arriving back here. Even so, we don't say much to each other. Of course, that's not exactly good for me. It gets so boring in here, by myself. So I usually just connect myself to him, and watch what he's doing.

Even so, it's better then when he didn't know I existed. I still don't know how I made it through that.

I remember when I found him, after the pod opened. I'd stood there for a while, unsure of what to do. I was still mad at that guy in red, the one who'd taunted me before leaving. Who did he think he was, talking to me like that? I didn't matter to him at all. To him, I really was nothing.

I knew what would happen if I went with Sora, but I had no idea what it would be like. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to. After all, what did I care about him? Why should I help him? Sure, I would gain something in return, but should I really give up everything for this? I decided that I had little choice. I walked up onto the pod, and touched his hand. All of a sudden, there was a flash of bright light, and the last thing I remember before everything went black was a sensation of being drawn inward, towards him.

I remember waking up somewhere completely dark, the only thing there being myself. I started to worry. Did something go wrong? Had I been lied to? I called out his name, trying to get something to happen.

But nothing did. And for the first time in my life, I was truly afraid.

For some reason, this feeling of fear I had was stronger than anything I'd ever felt before. I assumed it was because I was with him now. At least, I assumed I was.

At some point, I felt something stirring, a presence all around me. I could hear bits and pieces of thoughts that weren't my own. I knew he was waking up, but I didn't know how to look outside. I closed my eyes and concentrated on connecting myself to him…and the next thing I knew, my mind shifted, and I found myself looking through his eyes.

I could feel his body now. I tried to move, but nothing happened. I wasn't in control.

I saw the faces of his strange friends, heard their voices, watched as "I" spoke to them. It was definitely his voice that was speaking. It was such a weird feeling, being able to feel someone else's body but not having any control over it. I guessed I'd have to get used to it.

I pulled away from this, returning to my own self, back in that dark place. From what I had just gathered, I really was in Sora's body.

I tried to remember what Namine had told me before. She told me that I wasn't meant to exist. I now knew that was true. I really wasn't. It wasn't because I wasn't entirely human, but because I was just a Nobody.

I thought she said something like this would happen. I was worried that when it did, I'd just disappear, but she assured me that I wouldn't, that I'd be whole. She was right, though, I hadn't disappeared. I still existed, here, deep inside him.

There was a part of me that almost wished I had disappeared.

I remember watching through his eyes, as he found my friends. There was no point in trying to get their attention. They didn't even know I was here, and there was no way to make myself known. Besides, they wouldn't know who I was. I hadn't known their real selves, just the versions of them in that fake town.

I think I remember crying at some point, while we were on the train. I think he did, too, although he had no idea why.

Soon after, he found out what Nobodies were, what Namine had referred to us as. I hadn't known what she meant at the time, but now that I remembered everything, I got a painful reminder of what I really was.

Nothing. I was nothing, just a shadow of him that had come into existence when he had become a Heartless.

And he had, I remembered from my dreams.

That must've been why I hadn't felt much of anything before. I'd had no heart to feel with. The only reason for these shadows of emotions I had felt, I now know, is because Sora had come back. He still existed. In a way, I HAD had a heart.

And now, the way things are, I do. Because Sora's heart is no longer just his. It's mine, too.

I'd been so upset then. I had the right to. I was trapped in my Other's heart, and he didn't even know I existed. I remember screaming, pounding on the floor, trying and failing to get him to notice me. But nothing worked.

I spent his adventure mostly watching what he was doing. It was kind of cool, to know better what he'd done before. He'd made so many friends, and touched so many lives. I began to learn what kind of person he was. Though he wasn't exactly the brightest person there was, he was still very kind and really cared about others.

It was fascinating, seeing so many different worlds. I'd only ever been able to see a few, and they weren't very interesting.

When I wasn't watching what he was doing, I was usually sleeping. There wasn't much else to do where I was.

Looking back, I think one of the hardest parts of the journey for me was seeing Axel die. Before I'd remembered everything, I hadn't cared when I saw him. In fact, I was afraid of him. But now, I did remember. I'd had to watch him die, without being able to do anything about it. That hurt so much. I think I'd cried again after that. Usually I would've tried not to, but since there was no one to see me, I didn't feel the need to stop myself.

At some point, Sora's friend Riku had told him about me. I was truly happy, for the first time in my half-life. Now, I'd thought, maybe I wouldn't be so lonely.

After that, I had called out to him, as hard as I could. And I could tell that he'd noticed. He told me later that at that point, he'd finally recognized that warmth in his heart that was me, that warmth he'd been carrying inside of him since he'd woken up.

Eventually, I'd even found Namine again. I'd been able to finally talk to her again, and at the same time, show myself to Sora.

And at some point soon after, now that I could truly feel…I realized that I loved her.

And now, as I watch the sun set through Sora, I realize that she and I are lucky, the only Nobodies to ever reach their dream of becoming whole again.

Suddenly, Sora notices my thoughts. _What're you thinking about, Roxas? _

_Nothing really, _I reply.

_You know, you can come out, if you want, _he tells me.

I push myself away, concentrating, focusing on separating myself from him. Before I know it, I'm sitting on the beach next to him.

"I was just thinking about stuff," I explain. "Like how it was for me when we first…" I look down at myself. "Well, when we…you know…"

"I know what you mean," he says.

He sighs. "I never really thought about what it must've been like for you. I guess it must've really sucked, being stuck with someone who didn't know you were there.

I look down. "Yeah."

"I bet it felt great when Riku finally told me about you, huh?"

I smile. "Sure did. What was even better was when you could finally hear me."

"Oh come on," he says, "It barely took us any time at all."

"Yeah, but when you told Kairi, she asked what took us so long!" I complain.

We both laugh. Then, I remember Namine. "I miss her," I say softly.

Sora looks confused. "Kairi?"

Then he gets it. "Namine, right?"

"Yeah," I reply.

I glare at him, suddenly frustrated. "I've only seen her a few times since you came back here! Why is it that you and Kairi get to see each other whenever you want, when the two of us mostly just know the other one's there, but can't see or feel them? It's not fair!"

Sora puts up his hands. "Hey, calm down. No one's stopping you guys from coming out when we're together."

I sigh. "Yeah, but there's always people around, and we don't know if anyone besides you two can see us."

I look at him. "All I want is to see her more often. I…" I close my eyes and look down. "I love her. Just as much as you love Kairi. I'm sure she wants to see me too."

Sora looks at me for a moment. Then he smiles. "OK."

I think for a moment. Then I look up into the sky, at the setting sun.

Sora looks over at me. "Yeah?"

I…" I pause for a moment. "I just wish there was a way for me to be myself again, and still have a heart. I miss the little things, you know? Being able to see the world through my own eyes, to be able to feel the wind in my hair, the sunlight on my face, to have my own friends… Sora, you take these things for granted. Can you imagine what it's like to be me, just a part of you? Is it really so bad to want more?"

I realize that I'm beginning to cry. A bit embarrassed, I quickly wipe away a tear and continue. "I gave up everything so that we could both be complete. You didn't have to give up anything. I just want you to remember how much I've gone through because of you. After all this, is it really so bad to want to be me again?"

Sora looks at me, his expression a mixture of shock and sadness. "Roxas…"

He looks down. "I'd never thought about it that way before. You know, you're right. You did give up everything so we could be this way. You really got the short end of the stick in this deal."

"Sure did," I mutter

He looks straight at me. "But the real question is…can you tolerate living this way? I know you wish there was another way, but are you OK with this anyway?"

I look back at him. "I…I guess so. If this is the way it has to be, then yeah, I think I can live with it. I mean, if I keep complaining, it'll just make us both miserable. That won't do anything."

Sora grins. "Glad to hear it."

He looks up. "And you know what? If there's anything I can do to make your life better, just let me know."

I smile. "Well, first off, ignoring me won't make me go away. Talk to me more, it makes my life more interesting. And second…" I pause. "I'd still like to see Namine more often."

"No problem," he replies. "I promise that you'll get to next time we see Kairi."

The sun has almost finished setting. "Well, I guess we'd better head home," he says.

As we walk back towards the rowboat, I add in one more thing. "You know what?"

"What?"

I grin. "I'm glad that out of all the people I could've been stuck with, it was you. I really meant what I said. After that fight, I mean. You **are **a good Other."

He smiles again. "Thanks."

And as Sora gets into the rowboat, and I fade back into him, I feel truly happy, for the second time in my life.

I guess I really am lucky.


End file.
